Sharing your Heart with your Husband

How has your week been, friends? This week’s post is on MARRIAGE and I want to share something the LORD has been growing in me and in my relationship with my husband – sharing my heart fully with him. I’ve been focused for a few years on hearing his heart, and really listening. But then the Lord pointed out to me that I’m not always sharing what’s going on in my heart – whether that be a dream he’s stirring in me, a hurt I’ve experienced, or a worry in my mind. I have been consistently but not perfectly sharing things with the Lord that are on my heart daily, but I don’t always get a chance or grasp the opportunity to share with my husband.

God is so good to grow us closer to Him and each other!

In this fallen world, it is easy to hide our true selves and what is really going on in our heads and hearts from those closest to us – even our husbands. Lots of things get in the way of sharing with each other – busy schedules, fear of response, or patterns of communication that aren’t the best.

I know I have had trouble processing through hurt or conflict openly and honestly with my husband at times. It may feel easier to phone a girlfriend, since she may be able to relate to your female state more easily, right?

Don’t get me wrong, girlfriends are a gift and so needed in our life! But I am afraid we are missing out on the Oneness or “echad” (in Hebrew) that God desires married couples to have if we don’t go to our husbands with what’s on our hearts.

In Genesis, we see the “Nakedness” and therefore total and full “transparency” between husband and wife before the fall:

“And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” Genesis 2:25

Naked.

They had no clothes on.

But also – they had nothing hidden in their hearts from each other either.

This was before the bite. Before the fall. Before clothes and secrets and lies. Can you just imagine, sister? THIS is the fullness of unashamed living God designed between husband and wife.

Am I saying we should be hasty with our words and bare our fleeting thoughts with our spouses as soon as they cross our minds? NO!

Here is what I am suggesting an see evidence of in scripture: God desires us to be continually growing towards Him and our spouses through the restoration Jesus’ cross offers us. Restoration that looks more and more like what we see in the garden in the beginning.

How do we move that direction?

 

  • First of all, we need Holy Spirit to help us process through things as we experience them. We process through prayer with Him about our feelings and he shows us truth. Instead of phoning a friend first thing, we seek our Father. Pray about whatever is going on in your life, your marriage, everything! Many times this will erase things from our hearts and minds before they even need to be discussed! But if not, move on to the next:
  • We bare our hearts before the Lord prior to bearing them before our man. If we have wronged our man in any way, we ask the Lord to forgive us first. Then we ask our man to forgive us. Kneel transparent before the your Savior and then stand humbly before your husband and apologize; nobody is perfect!
  • NO matter how our husband responds, we stand with a confident heart knowing we belong to the Lord. Your husband may respond super graciously the first time, but since he’s human, he may need grace and patience from you. Don’t go with expectations of how he will react. Go with confidence that you’ve sought the Lord about the situation and He’s shown you to talk with your husband about it. Have tons of grace for your man. Consider what’s going on in his life and don’t be offended if he doesn’t respond like your Closest girlfriend would. He is your uniquely created partner! Just be so thankful that you have the love of your life to share with while others are still praying for theirs.
  • An easy way to remember this pattern for communication in marriage is
  • “share before you bare.”
  • Share with the Lord what’s on your heart, and process it with Him before you share it with your husband. Of course, you won’t always run to your prayer closet before you talk to your guy; that would be dramatic. Just get in a habit of inviting Jesus into your conversations with your man.
  • Communication in marriage is so vital. We want The Lord’s help in this area, so our marriages can continue to grow into the design God originally had for us.
  • Reflective Questions:
  • Am I sharing my heart with God in prayer?
  • Am I sharing my heart with my husband in conversation?
  • Have a great week! I look forward to sharing a post on motherhood next week!
  • If you haven’t done Refocused Bible Study in the past, you can get your copy here:
  • https://www.amazon.com/Refocused-Fixing-Jesus-married-children/dp/1540656241

     

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